I Want All Of You. (You You You)
Israel was amazing.
That is such an inadequate adjective.
I have sorted through them all. (Brilliant, fabulous, Amazing, Super, Great, Wonderful)
None of them do any justice to it.
I have tried writing this blog post about 4 or more times now. But I cant.
What can I say?
Yes, I am different, although not in the way I thought I would be.
I now have more questions than answers.
God is different. He is more real. Bigger, scarier, and I have him so less figured out then i thought I did…
I am so totally head over heels in love. I thought I was in love with God before. I wasn’t. I wasn’t even close.
I feel have felt totally depressed. Like when you finish one of Melina Marchetta’s books and you just want to die because it is over. Like that, except 100 times more.
But I am also filled with more hopes and doubts and general excitement about the future than ever before. Life is a rollercoaster.
Fuck.
I am very Confused. Disenchanted. Enlightened. Stronger.
The highlight of the trip would be breaking down into a fit of uncontrollable tears in a chapel - a few meters away from the tomb of Jesus Christ.
The low point of the trip was the dead sea, 400 meters below sea level to be exact! Ha! (pun)
What can I say?
I went to Israel to find God.
Well I found him.
I’m scared shitless.
And I’m going to keep finding him for the rest of my life.
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3 Responses to “I Want All Of You. (You You You)”
Wow, Rhys I am SO proud of you!
I know how scary it must be, the last few months have changed my whole life. It’s like, something BIG happens, your world gets turned upside-down like a doll house and all the furniture gets shaken out, and there’s so much less in the way to stop you from seeing God…
…and there He is, bigger, brighter, and more different than you ever imagined… Shaking the bloody house, no less! ;P
It’s scary but wonderful, don’t let the Enemy steal it away, coz you know he’s gonna try! Don’t be intimidated.
Love ya heaps, btw I’m not on blogspot anymore!
I’m at http://www.justbekky.com, so update!
Bless you,
Bekky.
hmm swear words do have an impact - but shocking? they are pretty blasé these days and it seems a bit incongruous talking about something so pure but using such filthy words - perhaps the juxtaposition you were after (?). Regardless the words can be used to describe so many things and so many emotions that they are a poor tool for constructing any specific, vivid idea for readers. And then add in the connotations that are attached to these words and to the people that use them, and not only does your writing take on a trashy, uneducated feel but you are also cast in a crude hue.
i always find something to disagree with you on eh Rhyssieroo?
cool song.
weird clip..
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