The first thing you need to know is that for as long as I can remember I have had a phobia of public toilets. I was probably molested in them when I was 4 and have suppressed the memory’s. I always try to avoid seeing other people in them at ALL COSTS.

The other day I was at uni, writing my beautiful book. (coming along nicely thank you). I was having a toilet break (aka, hiding from the next paragraph in a shivering heap) when I heard someone come into the bathroom! Oh no! I was TRAPPED! I couldn’t leave! I listened to them moving around… and finally decided they must be in the other cubical. It was safe to come out…

I slowly creeked out. AAArrrrgh! There he was! Washing his hands! Alas alas!

We gave each other funny ‘we are both in a public toilet’ look. I quickly washed my hands, hoping we could both pretend this never happened, but just before I left he called out after me “Do you live on campus!?!?”

With The awesome power of hind sight I can now realize that he just wanted to know if I lived on campus so he could get directions or something. But at that moment I assumed he was trying to make friends. Most people start with a “hello”. The exchanging of names and the asking of general status “I’m good thanks, how are you”. But This person was obviously DESPERATELY reaching out to me. DO YOU LIVE ON CAMPUS!?!? He was so madly craving my friendship he wanted to bypass all formality’s and skip to unveiling the most intimate details of our existence over coffee.

I was up for it.

I answered his inquiry and returned it with a volley of intimate questions! I soon discovered he didn’t even go to this uni at all! He is from Inisvale, visiting a friend who goes here.

Later her would make several attempts to ditch me. I would ask him if he wanted to go for a walk.
He would say “Nah, I was just going to sit on that couch over there and wait for my friend”.
“Good idea!”
During the sitting stage of our relationship he would insist over and over that I should really get back to my writing. I was touched that he was so self sacrificially interesting in my welfare! This made me even more in love with him, and even more determined to extract EVERY detail of his life!

Then I found out he works with bananas (intimately). I laughed! I couldn’t believe I was talking to someone who works with bananas! IN a banana factory.
“That must be fun!” I say. “I think bananas would be a fun fruit to work with!”
He just looks at me. “They’re green when we get them” he says, as if this should explain everything.
“oh” I understand. “No happy colours then?”
“nope”

eventually his promps become so obvious that even I get the picture. But Before I left I asked. “Whats your name by the way?”
“umm… all you need to know is its piper. That’s all you need to know”.
I smiled at him. oh Piper.

Maybe he was taking up a monica while on the sunshine coast, or maybe he just didn’t want me to know his real name. Whatever your real name is Piper, I hope you had fun visiting your friend.

You will be my muse forever more! My muse! Forever more!