Latley I have been closeing my eyes.
When I am walking or driving. I will just close them. It feels good.
Did you know that when you are tired or confused or borded or angry or depressed you can slam a door in the face of the world? You can close your eyelids and everything goes black (except if you are in the sun - then the light bleeds through).
Maybe I just can’t do it any more. Maybe holding my eyes open is such a heavy heavy thing. To heavy for me. And I have always been a skinny boy. Although, whenever I do gardening with Nanna she is always telling me how strong I am, and I like to belive her. One morning every week I am a weed pulling, hedge clipping man. And that is a good feeling too.
Also, I think I will start getting in the habit of existing. Properly. Just clearing your mind and feeling the grass under your feet and the weight of your arms hanging off your body. And feeling all the bones inside of you, and the pressure of your lips touching. It is so good for you not to have constant thought dialouge babbeling in your head. It is the best thing I am doing at the moment.
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